If We are All in the Same Boat, Our Oars are Not in Sync

We need one another, but seeing past our own experiences is complicated.

In rowing, a boat is propelled when its oars are synchronized. We are all oars during COVID-19. We thrust our collective boat forward through the rough seas of this pandemic when we work together. Our actions are micro-movements in the water that can slice through waves in harmony or cause disruption.

Our oars are not in sync.

The perception of the threat of COVID-19 is wide-ranging among people, communities, and states. Some states reopened this week while others remain closed. California, my state, is moving to stage 2.

Quarantine fatigue is setting in throughout closed states, and cracks in this invisible barrier against COVID-19 are forming. Some people are fighting for their lives in ICUs. Others are protesting. These are two extremes, and there are a lot of people in between.

A complex web of circumstances, beliefs, and behaviors contribute to this splintering. As states reopen, our ability to balance personal desires with societal needs will be tested.

Circumstances Don’t Equal Behaviors.

COVID-19 has changed each of our circumstances in some way — health, finances, routine, etc. Based on our revised circumstance, we all have views about how dangerous the virus is and, therefore, how personal, urgent, or scary it feels.

Then layer on demographics, beliefs, and values to the stamina already required to continue to comply with the various orders for an extended amount of time.

It’s a situation ripe for dissent.

Three (Generalized) Groups

Three distinct COVID-19 circumstances have emerged over the past month. I am simplifying something complex. These are not all mutually exclusive or exhaustive.

Frontline Fighters

This group is comprised of people with COVID-19 and frontline workers, along with their loved ones. They are fighting for their lives, treating those infected, putting their health at risk to serve the community, and/or isolating from their families.

If they are not sick with the virus, they, including my husband, are reminded of it as they put on their personal protective equipment (PPE) and care for a patient, respond to a 911 call, work in a lab, deliver packages, or serve in another essential function. Many of their loved ones are sacrificing as well through worry, separation, and/or added household responsibilities.

Inconvenienced with Income

This group is comprised of people with decent shelter and steady income. Even so, COVID-19 has upended their lives. Many of these people are juggling working from home, helping kids with remote learning, and managing households without any help. They are exhausted and overwhelmed.

Others in this group are alone. The isolation is taking an emotional and physical toll. While remaining at home is trying for this group, it is not in direct conflict with their livelihood.

Livelihood Lost

This group is comprised of people who have been blindsided. They have lost their income and are struggling. They share many of the same challenges as the group above. They are also wondering how they will cover the cost of food, rent, mortgage payments, or other bills.

Each day closures extend is another day they are unsure about how to make ends meet. They are frustrated by the lack of clarity around timelines and protocols for reopening and/or when the government will pay benefits.

Demographics, Beliefs, Values

Shared circumstances do not mean shared behaviors.

Fear is powerful. If you fear you or your loved ones are at risk for COVID-19, you are likely staying home. Fear may transcend the need for income, politics, or perceived tyranny.

We were all united by fear about a month ago. But the spread of COVID-19 has played out differently around the country. There is still a lot we do not know about the virus, but what we’ve learned has either increased or decreased our fear.

Geography, race, age, and even gender impact the perception of risk. New York has ~330K cases as of today, while Alaska has fewer than 400. Dramatic differences are also seen within states. In California, LA county has ~29K cases, while several counties have fewer than ten.

Latinos and African Americans have a higher likelihood of becoming severely ill from COVID than their white counterparts. Young people generally recover well while older people or those with pre-existing conditions have poorer outcomes.

It is hard for some to internalize the direct threat of COVID-19.

Without perceived risk and, therefore, fear, other beliefs and values drive our behavior. These encompass political sentiments, distrust of the government, loneliness, interpersonal relationships, self-interest, scientific and medical knowledge, interpretation of the Constitution, sense of community, and even our level of optimism.

Serve, Stay Home, Protest, Reopen

Most serving on the frontlines typically don’t question the severity of the virus as they are entrenched in it. They would stay at home if they could and remind their loved ones to do so.

The majority of others are staying at home, but things are evolving. Some always wear masks outside and have not left home for weeks. They continue to sanitize hands, counters, and handles with a strong conviction that it is the right thing to do.

Some are letting their kids restart playdates or hug Grandma. Some are posting on social media about conspiracy theories or how extending shelter in place orders is tyranny. Some are preparing to head back to work.

Then there are protestors. They are a relatively small group but gaining traction. They are showing up at state capitals and beaches. Most signs demand the right to work and to end closures. But their message is often muddled as media photos show a mix of Confederate flags, guns, anti-vaccine signs, and MAGA hats, among other distractions.

Seeing Beyond Our Own Experience

It is normal to feel frustrated. I do. In some ways, it’s like we are all running a marathon without a defined finish line.

Businesses and people do need to get back to work, but we should all demand more clarity on testing availability and accuracy, protection measures, and ongoing government support.

We have not witnessed a pandemic of this scale in our lifetimes. As states reopen, protecting yourself and others will require potentially small, but ongoing sacrifices.

The idea that if the vulnerable just stay home while the rest of us go out and “enjoy our freedoms” doesn’t account for the complexities of COVID-19. In some studies, 50% of people carrying the virus do not show symptoms, and up to 15% of people who test negative are positive. More importantly, reliable testing is still not widely available.

Two questions to contemplate:

Are we able to see past our own experience when we don’t perceive an imminent threat? Can we cultivate enough empathy and sympathy for those affected that it drives us to alter our behavior?

We need our oars in sync to forge ahead because we rise and fall together. We can and will reach calmer waters.